It may not look or feel like India, but it is. We were strongly reminded of this today. I came to India having heard many stories.. Most were about how you just can't trust anyone here. The lies, scams, pickpockets, rip-offs, inflated prices for westerners, thieves, sleazy men's schemes to touch unsuspecting tourist women... It has been hard as a result of all the stories to trust people here, but I have been determined to do so. I don't want to judge anyone based on stories, nor is it fair to judge a whole race as a result of the mistakes of a few. Thus far, I have met my share of scams and rip-offs, sleazy men and dodgy folk... But I have met honest and honorable ones too. It has taken courage and the patience to trust them all at least enough to give them a chance. Today, however, my patience began to wear thin.
The day began with a small series of rip-offs, beggars, and "deal makers" as usual. By lunch time, we were waiting 3 hours for my shoes to be repaired (though I found them in a state of disrepair) of which we were promised a 15 minute fix. Walking around town barefoot, I slipped into a store to absorb my frustrated mind in some beautiful Tibetan made clothing. Ben was outside chatting with a teenage boy. When I went back out, he said he was going to buy the boy some food. I walked behind them for awhile feeling uneasy about this, but admiring Ben's desire to give him something. I went into another store figuring it would take them awhile to order food. I assumed Ben was buying him lunch. When I came out I saw the boy standing there with a gallon of cooking oil, a 15 lb bag of rice and 2 large bags of powdered milk. He thanked Ben and walked away. I stared wide eyed at the boy and then at Ben. "Did you buy that for him?" I asked. Ben said "yes, he asked if i would buy food for his family". I felt sick, and sorry I hadnt been paying more attention.
When Alesha and I were I Cambodia, we were approached with a scam in which a few kids and a baby would beg for you to buy milk for the baby. They wanted us to buy a large expensive container of formula. We didn't want to buy formula and tried to buy a smaller less expensive carton of real milk, but they wouldn't have it. We wanted to do it but we both had an intuition something wasn't right so we declined and left. It was bothering me for awhile, so I actually googled it and found our hunch confirmed. It's a typical scam in which they get you to buy a high cost item, then they return it to the store for a cut of the money.
I told Ben about this scam and the possibility that that was what may have happened. His face turned into a look of disappointment, but we decided it may not have been the case. A few minutes later, Ben saw the boy talking to the shop owner and a few minutes after that, Ben was approached by another boy the same age, who asked "would you please buy food for my family?"...
We knew we'd been had. I spent the rest of the day feeling sad. I want to trust people. I especially don't want to walk around distrusting everyone and assuming that if a person is Indian, they are going to lie, cheat and steal. It's not true. But patience wears thin, and it's hard to trust when you have been hurt.
Bens heart was in the right place, and his generosity was well aimed. It was a clever scam meant to take advantage of a persons kindness.
In the evening we had dinner and a movie at the Tibetan volunteer center. We watched a movie on the struggles of tibet and ate delicious Tibetan pizza. The Tibetans working there were kind, humble and warm. I feel somewhat re-inspired toward people and I think we will spend a lot of time there. It was a much needed embrace in the kindness of our brothers.
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