10 years ago I spent time in Africa, and it was the first time I really saw suffering. Poverty, malnutrition, children wearing the same dirty clothes everyday and drinking dirty water. I had the opportunity to work with them over an extended period of time and really come to know what life is like at the village level in rural Africa. In all my time there, however, it was never I, who suffered. I had what I wanted in order to be comfortable; and my basic needs were met.
India, is the full experience. It is not only seeing the suffering, but experiencing it for oneself. I have experienced many challenges here, as Mama India shows me her secrets about Life and the world in which we live.
Water is a real problem here... You can buy bottled water for drinking, but the bacteria-laden water forges its way into your body through other means. You have little choice but to eat at restaurants, and there they use the water to wash dishes,wash the food, the table mats... You wash your hands with it, brush your teeth, shower in it....its all contaminated. Its a rare thing (if it happens ever at all), that a traveler passes through India without "India passing through them".
Its not just the water that I am suffering from here, it's malnutrition. The food is very low in nutrients as a result of poor soil, lack of proper fertilization, and loss of Life Force as the food degrades over time before consumption. The food is mostly empty carbohydrates (white flour, potatoes, white rice), and watery lentil soup. I can eat until my belly is full... But my body always feels hungry. I feel as though I am starving, even though food is plentiful.
The poor food and water quality lead to a lot of sickness, which Ben and I have been experiencing in various ways. I have pretty much been sick in one way or another since I arrived to the country. I have always been one who rarely gets sick, and have been blessed with a strong immune system. It's the first time I have known what it's like to feel sick all the time. What happens when you get sick and you can't just call up your doctor, who you trust, and get medicine? What happens when there is only one doctor in town, and you know he gives out medicine that has been banned in western countries for having serious side effects? What If you know this doctor gives out medicine without even knowing what, exactly, that medicine is supposed to treat? What do you do? Where do you go? When you are miles from the nearest hospital, in a foreign country, with some unknown sickness?
By far the hardest part for me, however, is the air. This pervasive haze is comprised of smoke, exhaust, vaporized heavy metals and burning plastic (any guesses as to what happens when you breathe in burning plastic?). It's not just something you smell now and then, though for sure you find yourself walking through clouds of it...it's an ever present, stinky layer of ICK that fills ever corner of this country and there is no escape. I feel consistently tired, lethargic, moody, heavy and unmotivated. I crave a long, deep breath of delicious, oxygen filled, sweet old air.... And the tragedy, is that it not only covers all of India...but china, SE Asia, and many other countries who still have no better way to dispose of their garbage than to burn it. As thick as this pollution is over here, and for as many years as it has been happening, there is no doubt that it's also prevalent in the US. Even if the air seems clean, it's not. Our air is slowly becoming more and more toxic by the day.
So, suddenly I find myself in a situation where my basic needs are not being met. Clean water; nutrition; health; healthcare; AIR... And it has been really hard. Truly a challenge.
This is not me complaining. This isn't a "poor me" story. I choose to be here, and unlike those who suffer beside me... I can leave at any point. I have the profound and abundant privilege to just hop on a train, or a plane, and escape to a place of comfort and ease. So why do I choose to stay? Why don't i just high-tail it outta here and head back to those luscious islands in the South Pacific? Because I want to be here. This is not a book; a photograph; a movie or documentary; an Internet website or a story I heard. This is a very intense experience which is very real to many many people. Would it really better me in some way, to just walk away cringing, and pretend like I never saw anything? Would I feel better then?...
It's not that I have some grandiose, idealistic vision of Martyrdom, that by staying and suffering I will save the world... But there is something very important to be cultivated here. Something not worth ignoring, or running away from. It exists within all of us, when we really allow ourselves to experience it. It is Compassion. Living in this environment, experiencing this lack of basic human needs...allowing myself the opportunity to really be challenged to Live... It breeds a new kind of compassion. A kind that can not be confused with pity. Real Compassion...from a place inside of me that says... "I know how you feel. I know what this life is like. And it's hard."
It is from experiences like this, that the fires of passion are stoked and set ablaze... And a new dream is born for the awakening and healing of our planet. From this experience, overflows gratitude for the immense amount of blessings in my life... For the gifts of the Earth and the power of Mother Nature. For my health and the health of my loved ones; the opportunities we all have; nutritious organic food; and every sacred, precious breath of air...
And yet.... Suffering is a state of mind....
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